BEV-ER-LY HILLS, THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO BE!

Holy rich women & luxuriousness! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills came CORRECT & I've not been able to get enough. Let's start with a brief intro, shall we?

Lisa Vanderpump. DYING for her. I cannot blow enough smoke up her ass. Quite possibly the classiest Housewife of all the franchises. Bentley's, a house that mine could fit inside of, quite easily 10 times & Giggy. Oh, Giggy. The coolest Housedog EVER. (Sorry, Ginger! Sorry, Cookie!) If the restaurant gave her all of that, I'm in the wrong field. Lisa's opener is: "In Beverly Hills, it's who you know & I know everyone" & I believe it! She literally knows everyone, I just wish she knew me!

Side note: I'm usually all about the blondes when it comes to my Housewives, for instance: Kim Zolciak, Tamra, Gretchen, DINA, you get me, but this franchise has me flocking to the brunettes!

Kyle Richards. Amazingly chic & classy. Paris Hilton's aunt, I mean HELLO! Birkin's galore & a house that, well, that's open to interpretation. I'm an interior designer so the fact that her house was designed by an amateur makes me beyond upset; however, I learned recently that it was staged to sell during filming, therefore, she owes me no explanation.

Now to the blondes...

Kim Richards. Paris Hilton's aunt also. Keeps it interesting for sure, I think, every episode that she's had one too many cocktails before filming her interviews but I could be mistaking. She drives the same car as my mom (Lincoln Navigator) so I love that about her, other than that I think we need to continue to "Watch What Happens" with Kim. I want her to find love...

Adrienne Maloof. MAY-JOR respect for Adrienne. Palms Casino-Hotel, AMAZING. Tinsel hair, well... whatever. She's great. So humble for someone who could possibly end the entire recession by paying of the US debt. Her & Paul are so great together too, he's hilarious. How creative to get her a dog for her birthday too, I mean she already has EVERYTHING else so, why not?

Taylor Armstrong. At first, I was like: "WTF is wrong with her lip??" Then, I remembered, this is Beverly Hills. Then she explained that it's an implant & she'd have it fixed but she doesn't feel it's necessary to go under the knife again for something so minor so I commend her! After she spend $60K on her daughters birthday party (Age 4) she earned a lot of my respect. Now, we know 1/2 of that was for the show, would she normally have spent so much? Probably not but if you've got it, which all of these women actually DO, then why not spend it?? I am never a fan of a marriage ending but she can do so much better than Russell, take half of his shit & move on! I mean, I'll move to Beverly Hills if she wants... ;)

Finally, the giant elephant in the room...

Camille Grammer. At first, I was in love. The house, the cars, the staff, the good life! So she thought... I have to feel a little bit bad for her since obviously Kelsey Grammer had (as Patti Stanger would say) BBD syndrome (Bigger, Better, Deal). He's engaged to a 29 year old. Seriously? Anyway, more about Camille. Since she's settling for a mere $60 million, that releases us from feeling bad, it's kind of a Tiger-Elin situation but not so many mistresses. I wanted to like Camille, I really did but she turned into the Danielle Staub of Beverly Hills. I did appreciate that she apologized publicly to Kyle on Watch What Happens, Live the other night, it made me not dislike her as much...

I'll actually blog about the episodes in my next post. Thank God the holiday's only come once a year because this interruption of my shows has killed me over these last two weeks!

I'll blog Atlanta too, what the hell, maybe even Top Chef: All Stars & The Fashion Show, why not?

We'll talk.

Summing it all up...

So, general consensus is that Real Housewives of O.C. is boring & predictable. After all, in this economy people are losing their homes, people are splitting up over money & people are having to shift their lifestyles slightly (not their wigs though...). However, has this been the most REAL O.C. season yet? While I feel bad for Lynne, her freakin' tag line this season is "it's not about how much money you have, it's about how good you look spending it..." Lynne. Baby, when you're being served with eviction papers, it IS about how much money you have & how irresponsibly you've been spending it! I know Frank dropped the ball, I understand that but honestly NO ONE should EVER be that blind to their financial situation in their marriage. Jill Zarin talked about in her blog how the Curtin's live lavishly & have the best of the best & look where they are now... Facelift, nose job, an $1800 jacket the day after she got the eviction notice, Lynne baby, OPEN YOUR EYES! I really do like Lynne, I'm not hating, I'm not trying to be a douche but seriously, take control of your finances and don't leave it up to Frank because obviously he can't handle them.

Okay, digressing. Gretchen & the make up line... great! Loved her booth at the expo & from her tweets, it seemed like it was pretty successful although it was portrayed and edited to look as though it were not on the show. I hate to say it but, her & Slade will get married. I kind of see some difference in Slade though, kind of like he wants to be with her for the rest of his life & no one else. It doesn't seem like he's riding on her coat tails, although he could be playing her and all of us...

I MISS LAURIE.

Tamra & Simon, I really, REALLY want you guys to work out your marriage. I don't know how it is since I'm not married but I'm sure there is some way the two of you can see eye to eye. Now, I'll stop writing like I'm talking to them. It's so sad to see money diminish a marriage. I know for a fact now that SIMON has filed for a divorce from Tamra, not the other way around... interesting seeing the preview for next week shows Tamra telling Simon she wants a divorce. Maybe he beat her to it? Either way, maybe they'll be okay after some downtime.

I have to be honest, sometimes I really like Vicki as crazy as that sounds. I said a prayer for Brianna too... I think they were just a little turned off that Alexis prayed, aloud for 20ish minutes during lunch. At least she has faith and is not afraid to share it!

Alexis looks just like her mother, just a botoxed, restylane injected version. Alexis is absolutely gorgeous though, don't misunderstand! Jim is a lucky man. And they're people of faith! It's so refreshing to see. Tamra said when she met them, they didn't strike her as "church-going people." Wait a second, what do "we" look like? Wasn't aware that there was a certain "church-going people" look. Either way, I think Alexis is a great addition to the O.C. Housewives. I love that her mother came to O.C. for a brow lift and ended up leaving with a whole lot more!

I ALSO MISS JEANA!

Now that I've talked about everyone, I just would like to say how grateful I am that this season flew by as quick as it did. I can hardly wait to see Jill, Bethenny, Countess LuAnn, Alex, Ramona & Kelly! Jill & Bethenny better get over their feud soon though, I can't have them upset with each other the whole season... good thing B was on Wendy Williams and confirmed that they're on speaking terms, way to go ladies! Anyway, I'll blog more during NYC, OC is just not eventful enough to blog every week.

Thanks for reading. We'll talk soon.

It's a good thing...

that everyone was anticipating Kim's performance... otherwise, the reunion would have been all for nothing, or would it? Kim was obviously nervous & she was off pitch quite a bit but, like it or not she has one of the top dance songs on iTunes... and think of her audience!

Sheree: Only likes something if she has anything to do with it, or it's herself.

NeNe: Had some issues and was supposed to be on the song.

Lisa: Kim called her a crackwhore.

Kandi: Produced it so there shouldn't have been any issues there...

Andy: Well, we all know his stance on T4TP... it was only the theme song for Watch What Happens, Live! all season...

Anyway, the reunion was boring. No drama, no wig shifting, nothing. Lisa wore Closet Freaks, Sheree wore Dolce & Gabanna? You're on TV Sheree, wear your own stuff, promote it! Kim & NeNe's "No Telling" method caused a lot of silence & no drama whatsoever. No fun at all. I kind of felt like I wasn't watching a Housewives reunion at all, more like a 50th high school reunion, if you will.

Andy tried so hard but was so unsuccessful. Anyway, OC started back & Gretchen & Tamra are having some issues, thanks to Twitter, I know they're fine now, rendering the show drama pointless but entertaining nonetheless.

Jeana's leaving next week, and her replacement, Alexis promises to provide us with drama... Her & Vicki will, of course, not get along until next season, then they'll be B.F.F.'s... typical. Glad to see Vicki & Don's relationship improving. Sad to see Tamra & Simon's diminishing... even more sad that it's mostly over money. Hopefully they'll weather the storm. Speaking of the recession, how's Jeana's 1995 Mercedes? I feel really bad for her & I hope she comes back strong!

GRETCHEN & SLADE: I'll go ahead and vomit before I go on... good thing her beauty balances out his douchiness. His yard sale techniques are however, notable. Haha... And Lynne, a face lift is probably unnecessary when you're on the brink of losing your RENTED home on the beach... just saying. Also encouraging your daughter to get plastic surgery at such a young age is probably not such a good idea either. And what's her 2003 BMW? The ATL ladies may lease their cars but they look good in them! Step it up girls... Vicki seems to be just fine in this economy, everyone needs life insurance I suppose.

Anyway... OC's heatin' up! We'll see how this goes... New York next season!!! Just remember that!

Atlanta.

I'll do a whole blog summing up the final two episodes & the Reunion's this week... I've been running a mile a minute and just haven't kept up with the blog, I have been watching though!

Orange County is next... November 5. Don't think it'll be more exciting than ATL but it'll get us through... just think, only 3 months til we get to see our NYC Housewives again!

Stay tuned...

Special Edition!

Big News!

Bethenny Frankel just confirmed reports that she is engaged to Jason Hoppy! Congrats to Bethenny & Jason!

Her Ring: 8 Carats total weight with a 6.5 carat pear shaped center stone. Beautiful.

Even Cookie was in on this entire event, candles & rose petals (which B made Jason pick up!) and then:

Hoppy got down on one knee and told her: "You are the love of my life. Will you marry me?" (People)

Again, Congratulations Bethenny & Jason!

Everyone have a Skinnygirl Margarita in their honor!

Sorry...

Didn't Blog about last weeks Real Housewives of Atlanta... first week of school... anyway, two for one this week!

Last Week:

NeNe had her charity event of sorts, running in heels? "Heeling the Soul" would have been fine if not for all of the Dwrong going on... I commend Gregg & Ed for hanging around, I was thinking the whole time they were on that bus the Gregg & Ed probably couldn't wait to get out of there, nice of them to stick by their wives! I was a little put off that Kim wasn't invited, charity is charity, Jill invited Kelly to hers, in fact, Kelly played a huge role in Jill's charity event!

Anyway, On to Ms. Kim... Okay so you waited tables & you were a nurse, say your annual income is around $100,000... the American Express Black requires that you spend $250,000 annually. How does an unemployed mother of two have $250,000 a year to spend? Two words: Big. Poppa. The card maybe in her name but if we dig a little deeper, Big Poppa had something to do with it... Your income would have to exceed the spending limit twice for Amex to even give you that card... Moving on, Justice, really Kim? For the price of the Louis Vuitton she was carrying, she could have purchased the entire store.

Sheree started planning her fashion show, with the help of Dwight. He seems knowledgeable in that field so we'll see how that goes...

That was the excitement of last weeks... not too much going on.

This week:

She by Sheree. Sheree's samples came in, Dwight critiqued them and didn't have too much bad to say except: "she's only a year behind..." wasn't sure if he was talking about the styles or the actual show, but either way... RUDE!

Kim: Oh my hair! The new wig was nice, for $800 it should be. I find it slightly ridiculous that she wears a different wig every day. $430 each, times 30 = $12,900/month times 12 (months) = $154,800... that's where the Black Amex comes in I guess... DAMN. A new character premiered this week: the Neck Roll. Kim's hair stylists Neck Roll is epic. It's honestly all I could look at. So gross. AND when they asked each other "what the hell you got on?!" I died. Kim was wearing a bathrobe, that I swear walked down the runway last season & her stylist (never remember his name) was wearing women's clothing as usual. But really, what the hell did they have on?! So special... Quick Quote: "Damn, I'm good lookin'!" -Kim Zolciak BTW - did anyone else secretly hope we would catch a glimpse of Kim without a wig on? I was hoping for a reflection in the mirror or something! Ha, we love Kim.

Way to go Kim & Sheree for getting along and planning Kandi & A.J.'s engagement party! Kim & Sheree hanging out again, it's like the old days, before the wig "shifting," etc. Seemed like a nice party, aside from Momma's toast, but hey, at least she's outspoken, every one knows what she's thinking. Sad considering A.J's recent, untimely death. With that being said, prayers are still being lifted for Kandi & her family.

I loved when Sheree tried on her samples & said that her body was the PERFECT model body. I honestly wait for Sheree to say something to glorify herself. She always gives me a good laugh, whatever keeps her motivated I guess... Dwight's comments got annoying, and not to steal Bethenny's words but he was douchy.

NeNe's reuniting with who may be her father was really nice. I feel for NeNe, imagine spending most of your life thinking someone is your father and then finding out that it's not the case. So sad, but she said this man looks like her son, so who knows? I hope for her, that she does find out who her father is and they can grow their father-daughter relationship. Loved the trip to Athens. NeNe's childhood home was nice! Remodel & have yourself a second home, girl! Georgian style, red brick, columns, it was really nice. Sad that it's just sitting there.

Am I correct in the fact that there were no fighting words exchanged this week, except for Kim's referring to NeNe as a moose (BTW NeNe, moose are one of my favorite animals & you do NOT resemble one in the slightest!) or Dwight's constant degrading, if you will, of the quality of Sheree's samples? No in-fighting, no wig-shifting, no crack whore calling, just wine drinking, partying and, of course, money spending.

Alright, Wigs... Season Finale next week! Then we start with OC again... I know we can't wait to see Gretchen & Slade (gag.) anyway...

Closing statement: I purchased "Tardy for the Party" on iTunes this week. I broke down, couldn't help it.

Don't be Tardy for the Party!

Kandi & Kim's Birthdays. Epic party, chart-topping song... and A RING! As I stated in last weeks post, a ring of monumental proportions. This ring is HUGE, center stone is almost a big as one of Kim's fake bubbies, which were trying to "come out and play" as Vicki from OC once said... That red dress which was taped to her was almost as ridiculous as her wig in this episode. The straight, not so Barbie-esque wig she wears in her interviews is so much nicer and realistic... maybe she should stick to one of those...

Anyway, Kandi's first ATL performance in years, and where is Kim? I'm thinking somewhere between a mattress and Big Poppa... just a guess though. Definitely not supporting her "friend" who made "Tardy for the Party" come to life. BTW I know everyone loves "Fly Above" as much as I do... right? I just love Kandi, definitely my favorite ATL Housewife! Been praying for her since A.J. passed away last night... even though they were not together right now, they were engaged at one time so they obviously loved each other, whether or not they were together it still must be difficult. R.I.P. A.J.

Lisa had a special dress on for Kandi's performance... not sure what that color was... convenient that she has bangs now, after Sheree got bangs last week... Interesting. Clothing line, bangs... I would say maybe next she would divorce her athlete husband but based on her and Ed's interaction, they're not divorcing, ever. I think they're a great couple, so genuine and so in love. It's refreshing to see, especially on reality TV. And perhaps next week there will be a new Hartwell on the way... we shall see.

Not too much about Sheree this week... EXCEPT for her "Isn't he married?" comment... I died. Didn't even think about that until she said it... but seriously. Kim's walking around with a ring that is twice the price of the house I live in and it was given to her by a man who is still legally married. Right. She also surprised me by showing up to Kim & Kandi's party... and she loved "Tardy for the Party!" I was shocked that she had some nice things to say!

Where was NeNe?! She wasn't at the K&K party, nor was she at Kandi's performance... was she in LA? NYC? Writing her book? (Ha!) Who knows... guess it was nothing too exciting... Love her though.

To end this one, check out the Real Housewives of Late Night... absolutely hilarious! http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/real-housewives-of-late-night/